How · do · you · do · it?

I need to go buy a lamp...since I don't think I enjoy sitting in the dark.

I'm afraid that I won't have enough money to buy my scooter. Hopefully, I'll be able to possibly borrow some money from someone. I wont have much money after I buy my scooter, since I feel that I owe my dad a lot of car payments. I just want to feel like I don't owe him anything, which might take a couple paychecks.
I don't think I should get rid of my car for a while, but I am really considering it. I'm tired of paying so much for it...I can ride in the rain. I don't care. I'll just bring a towel to work and leave a change of emergency clothes under the desk. I'M PREPARED!
Let the poorness rain down upon me! It's going to be really tight for a while, but I'll get over it. Nobody really needs to eat and I will be paying almost nothing in gas. It would be nice if I could afford a helmet with my scooter, but I probably won't have enough money. Oh well, I'll just ride really slow T_T

I'm not motivated enough at my house to exercise, which is why I need to start going to a gym. 24 Hour Fitness seems like the best place to get a membership. A healthy escape from my house when I don't want to be at home and it's right next to my job. Win!
A gym obsession sounds like a pretty good thing to me, like...what else do I do?


*Counting down till Gay Pride!*

I spent most of my day with Toni...trying to keep his mind off of his job. We ended up seeing Harold and Kumar, which would have probably been better if I was high, but it was still enjoyable for that type of movie. Apparently, today was the day that Toni was supposed to concentrate on finding a new job, so Raif was most likely ticked off. Oh Well...

Once again I cleaned my room and had a wonderful time doing laundry! Yay! Eh...damn clothes.

It has been a long time since I thought about the boy who lived next to me, Gabriel. Out of boredom I check my email and usually it's spam, but the newest message I got was from him. I was hoping that I would never hear from him again...
It's been a year since I saw him last, but that one tiny email made me feel this way again. I'm really sick of it, but I guess I'll see how things turn out. I just wonder why he thought of me out of the blue...I hate him and his mindfucking!

Now I shall stop since I don't want to feel this way over a confused little closet boy.

Work has been annoying and crappy lately. Our store sucks and we just need to get over that and wait till they close it down. My schedule will soon be changing to accommodate our huge work load, while only using one computer. Though, I do look forward to having a later schedule. 11:30am - 8:00pm would be a much more relaxed and I'll have the time to exercise in the morning.
Towards the end of yet another pointless day, I received a phone call from Toni. It was pouring outside and it seemed like a hurricane was passing through. I couldn't hear him too well, since he was outside, but I managed to hear "I was fired."
I told him I'd be right outside and ran downstairs...grabbing Mo along the way. Toni was completely soaked...after trying to wait at the bus stop to go home. I gave him my keys to wait in my car till I got off from work. Apparently, Scott, who is a useless employee that does absolutely nothing, went to our store team leader and complained about something that Toni wouldn't do. Well, Toni was called in the office and they brought up every complaint that he had ever gotten. Some were even from last year, which I think is retarded to bring up now. He was fired there and then.
I was already very upset at Scott for complaining to our store team leader about my attitude that I have towards him. Scott has an attitude every day of his life, but if I don't recognize him as necessary human being, then I have crossed the line!
Mo has been complaining about Scott to his team leader for being useless, but now we know that complaining to Tammy is useless. Sadly, Tammy was on vacation while this was all going on, but I can imagine that she'll be furious by the time she returns.
After work, me and Mo went to my car, which Toni locked us out of. I didn't mind that much...I was more concerned about how Toni was and everything that happened. I ended up spending the last two days at Toni's to help him not be so depressed over the whole thing. I really did enjoy my time there and my time away from home. Our odd little family makes me happy.
Toni still seems really bummed about the whole situation, but I told him that he's taking it better than I probably would have. We ended our nice Memorial Day weekend with fireworks and nearly setting Raif on fire...all which could be seen on video.

Eh...sucks to be going back to work tomorrow!

As of late, I have been thinking about my connection to my family. They have always been in my life and I do love them, but lately I've been thinking about my life. Knowing where my life is taking me would be nice and usually I enjoy to go with the flow of things. Though, it doesn't seem like I'm going anywhere. I need some sort of change...otherwise I'm going to go insane. I would love to do something spontaneous such as, just leaving the state. My family would probably be extremely upset, but they would have no choice in the matter. I yearn to escape my mental block of 19 years.
When I was young, I would spend a lot of time in my head and think of various things. Every so often I would think about families and the strong, invisible bond that connects each member. Family bonds seemed more forced upon than natural to me. Like, someone needs to remind me that they exist and I should be concerned about whats happening in their lives. My sister or father usually remind me to call them or schedule time to see them. Not being able to remember to do things like this just makes me feel like a horrible person. I do care about my family, but I don't feel like I have a strong connection to them.

I wish I could just leave and stop wasting time in this place, which I have grown to hate. Change would be good for me...

I shall bring a new reign of evil upon my fellow employees. Let them beg in fear for their precious signs! Bwahahahaha!
Yes, I am trying to lay down order within the store. For too long Michael has been forced to work in disorder. Organizing his office is a big challenge, but that is the start. I'm glad that my job involves making sure the store looks good and not just making signs for everyone. Valentine's Day is coming along nicely, but I wish I had more time to prepare. Oh well, we'll plan in advance for the next holiday.
John thanks me a lot for what I'm doing for Valentine's Day and is glad to have another guy to make sure this stuff gets done.
Nobody really bothered me too much with pointless problems. Mo's new shot tag program is coming along nicely...everyone who shot tags made sure to try and fill up the sheet. I need to start throwing sign requests forms at people who just bring bits of paper upstairs. Prepared Foods keeps up with the program and I talked to Alyx today about doing the same. Produce and the Meat department seem to be the biggest offenders...they need a talking to. xD
My Game Face is on for tomorrow. Garlic, garlic, garlic! You can never have too much garlic.
I haven't really seen or heard from Toni in a week. He probably thinks I'm mad at him, but he should know that I get over things quickly. I don't like staying mad over small things. Last week he did mutter something under his breath while I was passing through his department, but it's not like I heard anything he said. Plus he seemed to be buried in work, so I don't blame him for being irritated. I guess things now are just awkward...wonder how long that will last.

Around 6pm I picked up Nikki and we headed over to Elecia's apartment. Apparently I'm not entertaining enough to talk to her, so she had to call her boyfriend while we were driving over there. I don't really like bringing up too many topics with her because I know she'll go on and on with it. It's hard to think about a topic you want someone else to talk about for long periods of time and have it not get boring.
When we finally made it to the apartment we were greeted with a horrible smell. There roomate (Gina) has a cat and a tiny dog that was around the size of my shoe. Well, Gina doesn't clean the litter box...nor does she clean up her dirty clothes. Gina is a filthy person who mainly uses that apartment as a storage closet and she sometimes sleeps there. Luckily she wasn't there...I really do hate her.
The living room was animal territory and all who enter are forsaken. At least the bedroom smelled fine, so we all stayed in there until Nikki decided to clean up the animal's mess.
Visiting them is nice...you either see mainly Kasey or Elecia. Tonight I mainly saw Kasey, while Elecia played WoW the whole time I was there. If you really have hours and hours of no life, then World of Warcraft is the game for you!
I would never recommend that game to anyone. It's too addicting and you spend most of your time either waiting for players, completing millions of quests, or walking from place to place.
Kasey was telling me that they are planning to move back to this area. I think it's a great idea. Elecia had to drop her school since she cant afford it and she was fired today for being sick too many days in a row. Everything she's been going through has just been a challenge. Three terrible roomates have come and gone, having to work two jobs and go to school, and not being able to afford going to the doctor.
I hope things get easier when she moves back here. Plus, I'll get to see her more often :D

Nikki is leaving in ten days for California.
She is finally moving out of her house and getting far away from her horrible mother. Being raised by a high school cheerleader and high school football player seemed to mess her up. Her parents (mainly her mother) are insane. They want her to be one of those super preppy cheerleader/A+/popular girls. Instead, they got Nikki, who wasn't any of those things and has never changed.
Nikki and I went out for dinner since I owed her a lot. I've been avoiding her like usual. I ditched/avoided her one night we were supposed to go to the movies, on her birthday, and all the times she called my cell. I'm glad shes moving though, but not because I want her gone...I just want her to keep her sanity. Lately at work she has been blacking out while talking with people and during her blackouts she apparently says whats really on her mind. I was trying to imagine talking to someone, then all of the sudden they get offended and storm off. She was confronted about it and couldn't remember anything she said during her blackouts.
At least she is getting away from all that. I wish her all the luck with her boyfriend and their living arrangements. If things don't go out well she'll be stuck...too bad she doesn't know anyone there. We talked about all this at Gold Coast Grill and were basically having our "good bye dinner", but I'm still seeing her tomorrow.

Tomorrow I go and visit Elecia. Yay! :D

Well, I've planned all along to eventually transfer to Whole Foods in Miami and hopefully in a different department. Last night I was driving Tony home and I told him that I would love to get out of my department and go work in the Bakery. He thought it was a good idea since his department really needs people and my department sucks.
So we're gonna talk to the Team Leader of the Bakery, Tammy. I'll talk to everyone I have to make sure everything will be okay...before I tell my own department lol.
They really can't do anything, but I might have to wait a couple weeks before they find someone new...which is taking forever now.
As long as I get out of there...I'll be happy. I'm not telling anyone, so no rumors start or anything. I can see Tony telling my co-workers though...he has a big mouth :P

I need to start getting things together. I decided to not go back to school and it's way too late now...I've been kicked out for sure. I had no motivation to go back anyways.
For the past week I had no motivation to continue school at all, but I'm glad that there are people who make me feel reassured with my decisions. Natali, thanks for helping me getting my mind together and for showing me the paths there were for me to take. Elecia, thanks for telling me that J&W's baking program is really good and is more laid back than the insane rush of culinary cooking. I'm also glad that my mom supports my decisions, though she is disappointed with them. My dad is getting upset with the distance between us. I need to gather my thoughts and let him know whats going on.

Jonathan contacted me the other day. He sounds more like some guy trying to sell me something, than someone who wants friendship. He works for some marketing business and we are trying to make plans to get together and talk about it...or something. Oh well, I guess I can go talk with the guy for a little...it'll have to be next week though.

Today was my nice day off and I decided to spend it with my grandparents :D
Now that I have only two days off a week...it is even harder to get to see them. I'll see my mom this Friday and spend the day with her.
Well, I need to go to sleep...I'm trying to wake up earlier than usual to try and get back into my exercise routine. >_< *motivation*

(Oh! Thanks needs to be giving to Krystel for her words of support. Thanks! <3 )

So I woke up and went to school just like usual (well, sometimes). School is such a chore to go to now and I only started to dislike the program when I went into Cold Foods. Now I'm in Hot Foods and it seems to be taking forever to finish. Anyways, I went to school today and the head chef told me...and I quote "You've been a bad boy, chefy." He gave me a piece of paper that needed a signature for each day. I have to go to VPI (the academic part of the program) for the rest of the week and I'm not allowed back in the kitchen until this week is done. Since I didn't get a signature for today...ehh...I guess that means I would be going for another week.
Whatever...they told me this at 11:00am and VPI opens at 1:15pm, so I had nothing to do till then. I just sat in my car being frustrated. When I finally got down there I had to wait another half an hour before someone would see me about re-registering. They told me the classes were full and  thats when I lost it. I went home and  then went to work.

Lynn, my team leader, was being a bitch when she came in. The chefs were busy with some demo they were doing and she was straining herself to work along side them. There is something wrong with her, but I don't know what. Shes very sick...apparently.
Well, I'm doing my job and helping customers and I was putting a sandwich in the oven. I walked past her and she called me over. She said, "Josh, do they teach you how to walk fast at your school?"

*cringe*  "I guess..."

"I would really like you to start practicing that."

Does everyone really want me to kill myself today?
I really can't remember having a more frustrating day than this one. I don't think I'm going to school tomorrow.
Oh! It was kinda odd that a little while after that...Lynn had to go to the hospital. Oh well...hopefully her doctor walks fast enough for her.

Yup...after work I went with Tony, Raif, and Julia to the Sawgrass Mall. We saw Rob Zombie's Halloween, which was actually quite good. Well, I enjoyed it and I was mainly glad that it wasn't a total suckfest!
I recommend this movie :D
I'm glad that I didn't have to work the Hot Bar tonight. Ryan, my assistant team leader(ATL), was there to do it. Hopefully tomorrow goes the same way and after that I'm going with Nikki to Miami to see Elecia. I have a nice little two days in a row off, so I'm happy bout' that xD

Someone remind me about calling that guy Jonathan D:
I seriously need to do that tomorrow...otherwise I'll seem like a jerk or somethin'.

It seems that five days a week at work have somehow snuck up on me. I guess I don't mind working that much...but I do prefer days off.
Sorry, I'm lazy.
I switched one of my days with Barbara, so I have off tomorrow :D ,but I still have school -.- boo.

I have to re-clean stuff...like my car...my room...and blah. I'll actually have time tomorrow :D yay.
Plus, I still need to call Jonathan.

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y34/Sketh/CIMG0191.jpg

This is when me and Elecia went to the Aventura mall like...two weeks ago. I spent three of my days off at Elecia's, which was fun. Natali left a couple days later T_T
I'm just glad that we were able to spend so much time together while she was here.

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y34/Sketh/CIMG0309.jpg

Two days ago I went to Orlando to help build habitats for animals at a reabilitation center that took in wild animals. That big kitty scared Tony when he hissed and he jumped :D
We had a fun time...except for the fact that it was 101 degrees outside. All I really did was take pictures and escape to the cooler...and eat "special" brownies. Mo said me and Barbara were worthless and all I could say was..."eh".
At least I have cool pictures :D

A weird thing happened when I was at work yesterday. I randomly bumped into this kid I used to know in Elementary school. We walked past eachother and preety much did a double take. He remembered my name and I didn't have the slightest clue who he was, but he did look familiar. He called me back today, but I didn't answer since I didn't recognize the number. He left a message, so know I need to call him back. When I saw him in person he said we need to hang out or get some lunch sometime. The weirdest thing though was that he didn't look immature, nor did he look immature. He was dressed in a suit and was pretty hot :D
He gave me his card...

Peter J Development
"taking the guesswork out of a big business"

Jonathan Rivera
consultant

Cell -###-###-####

Thats the card...I guess I should call him tomorrow.

After Tony's house, I drove to Miami at like 3am.
All of Elecia's roomates abandoned her and now it's just her and Kasey...even though Kasey isn't here right now. He went to some concert or seomthing. It pisses me off that Elecia is having money problems and it seems like no one is doing anything to help her out.
As of now, the new living situations for when I move to Miami are...me and Kasey in one room and Elecia and Gina in another. I guess I don't mind rooming with Kasey, but I'm hoping for things to run smoothly. The cost will still be around $400 a month with the utilities and other stuff like internet/cable.
Well, me and Elecia are off to head over to the Aventura mall :D
Maybe we'll get around to cleaning later.

After dropping off Natali's grandma at the doctor's office, which we were able to find with absolutely no problem, we went to the Aventura mall. One of the nicer malls I've been to. Ate crepes, drank iced cappuccino, and walked around for a while.
Rained for the afternoon, but I always liked the rain. I wish I could have just stayed home and rested, but I had to go to work...bleh.

Work wasn't bad or anything and it was good to actually have a dishwasher. Tomorrow we get that knew dishwasher...never saw a young dishwasher lol.
I'm looking forward to seeing Mo tomorrow night at Tony's. We each have to bring something that we made...says aunt Tony, so I was able to find a good filling for phyllo dough. Crab and goat cheese filling with a mango chutney sauce...the filling was actually for empanadas, but phyllo dough is easier. Well, I get to wake up early and buy the ingredients. Just need to prep and I'll bake them at Tony's...I'll test one at home and hopefully they come out good D:

Ok...I have to wake up at nine in the morning...which is in a couple hours.
Natali's grandmother has to go to a doctors appointment in Miami, so I will enjoy the early driving. Natali is spending the night and is already sleeping.
After work, me and Natali went to Tony's and basically sang karaoke for a couple hours.

Well, I need to go to sleep otherwise I wont be able to function.

Lately, I don't know whats up with my job. The people working during my shifts are really scattered like only have two people handling customers Dx
Today was annoying though. Me and Julia were handling customers, Barbara was our Hot Bar cook, and Chris was the dishwasher. Did I mention that all four of us were hired for customer service?
My schedule is starting to get back in a routine, which is good. I usually work Mon - Tues, then Sat - Sun, but three days of work a week was nice for a while.

Natali is leaving soon D':
I'm going to think of a good day to go over my grandparents house with her. They wanted to see her again before she goes back up, but they really want to see me. I feel bad about not talking to them or seeing them too often. Maybe I should get a tattoo on my arm that says, "CALL YOUR FAMILY" so I remember to call everyone. It's hard for me to arrange my schedule to see family and friends during my time off from work. Since I have no reason for not seeing them next week, I'm going to probably see my grandparents on Wed, Thur, or Fri...whichever is better for Natali.

Btw...look at my sister...
She decided to put on one of her really old dance recitle costumes. She likes being a dork :D
Well, I'll leave you with this image nite nite!